Thinking back to the when I took my motorcycle skill course at age 39, I remember it like it was yesterday. It was my own checking off an item of my long bucket list number 74: “Learn to ride a motorcycle!” I remember being anxious the night before, questioning myself with thoughts like, “Am I crazy?” and “Can I really do this?” or better yet, “What makes me think I can even do this?” Then I reminded myself to just breathe. After all, if I didn’t like it I never had to try and ride again, and I could get a bigger seat for the back of my husband’s bike. But there was just some kind of sense of awe whenever I met a woman that rode. I was impressed because to me it just seemed so cool and so scary. I always wanted to be the girl at work who rode in on her motorcycle, shook out her hair, switched into some high heel shoes and walked into the office (I’m writing a book about this character I always wanted to be, by the way, #22 on my bucket list).
Call it female empowerment if you will, but I think there are just some things that are viewed as masculine and a bit scary for a woman, and that was it for me, personally. It was up there with shooting a gun, which was also crossed off the bucket list. But it was conquering that fear that kept pushing me to do it. Like I would somehow boost my own confidence if I did something so out of my comfort zone. Then the thought came to me about riding on the back of my husband’s Sportster and how uncomfortable it was for our two- hour ride in the country. No thanks! It was a big motivator.
These are the kind of thoughts we as women battle every day not just while deciding to throw a leg over a machine that could harm us, but I was recalling the times I had had similar self-sabotaging thoughts before…in my job situation, when I sang in public, the first time I delivered a speech to 100 people. All of those times, I was successful. Even if I wasn’t, with riding a motorcycle, I had an “out.” There aren’t any “outs” when you’re in front of 100 people speaking at a corporate event!
I remember arriving at Destination Daytona, and seeing the class was predominately men (of course), but there were two other brave ladies who were on my lady riders “team.” I wondered if they were having the same kinds of fears I was having, or were they bad@$$es who had no fear. I guess to some extant I’ve always thought lady riders were tougher than nails, probably started bar fights and kicked guys’ rears because of their life experiences. I have no idea where I got that impression, but the era I grew up in, only the tough biker chicks were riding and quite honestly, they scared me a bit only because I am a non-confrontational empath. I’ve never been in a fight in my life, and I am always the peacekeeper. I suppose that is the Native American in me. I am kind of a girly girl. Not overly girly as in shopping trips, and gossip sessions over wine, but I do like my bling, try and wear makeup and sundresses for my husband and paint my nails as often as I can. I treat myself with an occasional manicure or pedicure, but I’m fairly low maintenance (except maybe my hair – those pesky grays are coming in hard and fast!) but if I could cover half of what I own in glitter and rhinestones without husband objecting, I probably would.
We started out in a classroom setting learning a few things before we headed outside. I had ZERO knowledge of the actual operation of a motorcycle. I knew there was a key, and an on/off switch and that was about it. I wasn’t even exactly sure if there was a trick to the kickstand! Seriously, I knew nothing except it looked so cool! Oh, that and you could burn your leg pretty bad on the exhaust pipe. Yeah, that was me thinking shorts on the back of my dad’s bike was a good idea.
I had always ridden on the back of my uncle’s, my brother’s and my dad’s bikes. I never really paid attention to the operation of it. Did everyone already know this? Would I be sitting there not knowing how to turn it on while everyone was firing theirs up? Again…control of the beast of the mind that tries to put doubts in our heads. To my relief, we learned all of this prior to heading outside, so, my silly fear was completely unfounded. The instructors walked to every student to make sure we were powered. Each bike is different, so there is a bit of a learning curve, but after you start one up, even though the location of the ignition and the on-off switch might be slightly different, they all have the same basic components.
Next, I was worried that I’d be the last one to actually start riding, or I’d need extra help. When we got out to the course area, we selected helmets and gloves that fit us (well, the gloves were men’s so, that’s included as a tip on a helpful list I’ve included in my next blog post) and our next step was to choose a bike. The bikes were all of course beat to heck, so my first realization was, these bad boys have been dropped…a lot! So this meant, it was okay to make mistakes. Clearly others had! This actually eased my fears quite a bit. Since most of the clientele learning to ride is men, that made me feel even better that dudes drop too.
We started learning out how to push the bikes forward with our body weight and slowly controlling the clutch to help us move forward. I never once felt out of control. It was fun trying to master the right amount of release of the clutch to not stall it, but keep it moving really slow. No one was paying any attention to anyone else as they were all concentrating on their own progress and clutch release mastery. The instructors were great. They were funny, supportive and encouraging all at the same time, which really put me at ease. I never felt uncomfortable asking a question, especially after I realized that I was probably never going to see these people again in my life, and I can’t even really remember any of them 5 years later, so I just concentrated on learning and mastering and paid no attention to anyone or their individual progress. I wasn’t there to make sure they succeeded, I was there to make sure I succeeded.
With each tiny piece of the riding progress puzzle we added, I felt really good. The tasks were tiny and manageable, and I never felt overwhelmed or afraid of a task because of how one skill built upon another. I started to gain confidence throughout the day, and actually became relaxed and started having fun. I was excited that I was accomplishing each tiny step fairly easily.
Then it happened. I was able to pull forward, release just enough clutch to move slowly forward……… and lift my feet on to the pegs!! A huge smile came across my face as I crossed the concrete to the “finish line” of the course concrete area. I cannot tell you the rush it is unless you’ve done it. I wanted to let out a “Whoop!” but I contained my extreme excitement in my little tiny accomplishment. I was so excited my eyes welled up a little bit because I had just accomplished something on my bucket list at that very moment. Even if I fell over at the end and never road again, I did it! I rode a motorcycle!! I conquered my fear, and quite honestly, I was a lot easier than I thought it was going to be. Although there were still a few scary things to conquer (first day riding in traffic, first time on a highway…etc.) that moment is what kept me going.
I slept like a rock that night. The adrenaline rush was so great that I fell asleep at about 7PM. I was exhausted! I was so “high” on what I had accomplished that day I talked about it for the next hour or so nonstop to my husband when I got home. He was so supportive. We had a great night talking about both of our first days of riding as he had just taken the course not too long before I did. I secretly think he hurried up and went and got his motorcycle endorsement because at the time I was working at Suzuki events and told him I wanted to get my motorcycle endorsement, but I never asked him what made him want to do it, so we’ll keep that little secret for the ladies. I was very grateful for his own self-confidence because he was not threatened at all in his masculinity that his wife wanted to ride.
If you ride, you are probably thinking about that moment for you right now! Wasn’t it spectacular? I still get a little emotional thinking about it (there’s that girly girl trying to make her appearance again). I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences for our ladies who are contemplating it. A bigger part of it all for me was that just a mere 6 years prior to that day, to the month, I was battling a fairly large tumor in my right breast and wondering if I would ever even make it to my 40th birthday. So, after my battle with the big “C” was over, I decided to start living more, start celebrating the older age birthday milestones that I even made it that far, start working less for everyone else’s profit and start working for my own life, family and enjoyment. Thus were the early foundations being laid for what is today, “Torque74.” Thank you for stopping by my blog page, reading my story, and checking out my brand. I’m just getting started and am looking for great products that celebrate the feminine side of lady riders and will keep building our products. I want to expand to very fashionable and stylish riding jeans, jackets, and blingy and fun helmets, along with gifts for the lady rider that don’t look so…..masculine...and all black and orange. I love my bike but I don't need to be a walking billboard for them all of the time. That alone was what pushed me to start this brand, so I started designing shirts for myself, and I would get asked when I was out where I got the shirt. The inspiration was born! Much of the things I find look like my husband could also wear them, and my H.D. t- shirts that I bought for myself before I started riding ended up in my husband’s drawers as the black masculine biker shirt from the Chicago H.D. store was mistaken for his own. I think I was most inspired by the H.D. store in Hawaii with the bright colors, hibiscus flowers and ocean images. However traveling to Hawaii to get biker chick clothes is well....not exactly in everyone's budget.
We all have a story. It makes us who we are. It likely also has a part in your story of why you started riding! We’re all different so I decided we all don’t need to dress the same. Plus….it’s hot as blazes in the south and to wear black in the hot sun is torture for me at Daytona Bike Week and #Biketoberfest! I figured the black t shirt thing must have started in the north where you need the sun for warmth on the chilly spring and fall riding days. Women all have different styles they like, different mindsets and different life paths. The glue that binds us though, is that we conquered something really challenging and we persevered! That glue binds the conquering spirit of lady riders everywhere, and the stories that celebrate our differences, our styles and our accomplishments are embraced through Torque74. Ride on, wind sisters!